FEATURES

You're a man.

Let's face it; you are a man, ie. you are genetically engineered to be a male. I will NOT discuss dispositions now. They are irrelevant to my argument.

As a man - like any other human being - you'll have to deal with serious stuff ; raising children, losing loved ones, making decisions that no one else wants to, breaking away from people or lifestyles, providing for your loved ones. Add to those the facts that you are probably socially programmed to protect, and respond, as well as work your ass off, and go to extremes in order to make ends meet. Needless to mention the fact that you are called to please in order to mate ; and continue pleasing as a matter of fact.

Let's face it ; you are a man, and a social animal, and you WILL help in propagating this social model till the time ends (or you end, whichever comes first). Believe me, you WILL find yourself applying or teaching the same principles applied or taught to you, to your offspring, regardless of sex.

Hence, what do you do ?

I shall leave the serious stuff in life to you. Those you will know what to do, or as most of us you will find what to do, while in the process. After all, life is, and will always be a school that you don't get to graduate, until you are ready to "depart" from it.

That is not macabre. As soon as you realize the distinctions that you have to make in your life, then there will be more room left for the enjoyment of life's lighter side.

Remember ? There is a lighter side of life. It's when you don't take matters for granted or take things literally. When you do not pursue issues with arrogance, greed or menace. When you hear the ocean waves, you feel the wind brushing against the forest trees ; when you sense the burning of the summer sun on your skin ; when smell, sound, taste and sight come rushing through your sensory organs, demanding your attention.

You are a man, and before - or after - you tackle all those serious stuff that life has in store for you, you need to take care of (or at least not to neglect) the lighter aspects. Don't get distracted, those are still complimentary top your being, although very much essential. They are complimentary because when the shit hits the fan, you do not care about your looks, or how others perceive you. You only want to "solve the problem", "get the job done", or "weather the storm" ; whichever might be the case.

I shall get to the core of my argument now.

Be healthy. That is not complimentary you may think, but may I point you to the fact that you inhabit a pretty awesome piece of machinery, that has the ability to regulate itself and up to a degree, correct most of the mistreatment that you exert on it. If you have screwed-up your machine by now, you should know that 80% it's your fault, and I hope you've had some nice time doing it. If you haven't, you should not get too agitated about it. Work your body, because your body was designed to be healthy only when worked. Don't stress over aging. It happens, and it will happen no matter what you do. Put some effort in maintaining your youthfulness, but beware if you cross the line, you will lose the essence of being older. Madonna is an exception ; NOT the rule. Be active, and avoid most excess conveniences that modern living has provided us with, and my guess is that you shall be alright; getting old the way you're supposed to do. Exercise moderately and support your organism with the nutrients that it needs ; both physical and spiritual.

 Don't turn your back on your vices. Vices are good. They supply your way out of situations ; they are your means of enjoyment or perception, your "edge" sometimes. However, vices should not be central or detrimental to your being. Use and apply your vices wisely, and you shall be the "ever-young-bastard", others would like to be. Don't drink too much ; it will kill you. Don't smoke too much ; it will also kill you. Don't screw around too much ; that I do not know what it will do to your existence, but I realize it can be somewhat negative to you keeping a spouse. The realization of your addiction to a thing or course of action, is the first step of you embracing your vice. Do it now, before it is too late.

Eat. Don't do it like there is no tomorrow. You need to savor flavors and experience all that goes with eating socially. Eat with friends, family, or colleagues. Eat to experiment, and to sample a different culture. Eat to please your palate, and to ease your hunger. Try not to eat alone, and avoid eating because you have nothing else to do. Remember that water is more important for your sustenance. I don't think you gulp glass after glass of water everyday (by the way, those of you that do, following some "drink 3 to 4 liters of water per day" principle, bare in mind that there is that thing called "water poisoning"). Prepare your own food, whenever possible. The process is exhilarating.

Never be afraid of love. In fact, immerse yourself in it. Love is probably the only emotion capable of correcting your self and giving you new meaning, without you having to do fuck-all. It's electrifying, mesmerizing, poetic, and a bunch of other things as well, and again you do not have to do anything more that immerse yourself in it. Love is addictive, and it is contagious as well. Nevertheless, don't mistake love for lust. Two different things. Lust will keep you going for a short time. If it continues, then it is a vice, and you should refer to a previous paragraph.

Give love unconditionally. It is a test of manhood. Accept all the consequences for doing it so ; as a man. Be firm, precise, concise, with sensibility, logic and understanding. Whatever is to end, it will end. It never is to late to be better or wiser with regards to your actions or thoughts, but when IT IS, then you accept you were late. Be final and decisive, when it comes to your true selections.

Breathe. Take the time to regenerate yourself. Do it when you want to, do it because you have to. Don't do it out of caprice. Walk around ; get in touch with people, venture into nature. Take your time out of those that haunt you (people, things, or situations). Experience nature. Only then you shall comprehend what you are, what you are truly made of, what you can accomplish and what to keep. If you don't at first, then at least you probably got a good glimpse out of it ; but do it again. Distance yourself, in order to "see the forest". Stop looking at a single tree all the time.

Express yourself. You need to learn how to do it effectively and for your fulfillment. Dance, act, write, protest with others, cry alone or with company. Learn to express your feelings. Visualize, voice, outer your current state of mind. Feel free to experiment with different forms. After all an intelligent man is entitled to use any, and all, means of expression. Be bold, or simple if you wish, in those choices.

Travel. Stop looking at other peoples' pictures on your monitor. Stop collecting books with other peoples' experiences. You need first to create your own private bank of memoirs, then you can expand on other's. Going places takes you out of your routine, gives you perspective about your life. Go near, or far, the result could be the same if you're open, receptive, willing to broaden your horizon. Always keep in mind that you can look at millions of pictures of the Acropolis in Athens, read all the reviews, and "experiences" about it, but you will never really know, you will never really register it in your mind, unless you be there, and sweat going up the steep steps, touch the marbles, feel the summer wind or the evening sun on your face.

Of course you cannot go everywhere, or sample everything during one lifetime, but that does not negate my initial argument. Get up, move away from your life for a while, feel something different. You will return (or may not, as a matter of fact) a changed man ; a more complete being.

Groom & style yourself ; that is take care of you and the way others see you. Be clean, be radiant and good looking. Try to change all those things in your life that make you feel miserable. Start from the inside, and the outside will follow by itself. However, while doing so, please take care of your appearance. You do not have to be a model, in order for you to look good. Dress your good self, and sometimes dress for other people's sake. There is no reason for you not to be smart looking. Pick a style that suits you and keep it. Don't be overly fashion conscious. If you do, you will end up broke, and we both know that you cannot boil & eat a pair of Pradas. Do not pawn yourself, in order to style yourself. It's not worth it.

Be careful and wise when it comes to your wardrobe selections. Own pieces that you like and feel that you will use for a long time. Spend money in accordance with that. Don't be compulsive with your selections ; opt for combinations instead. Maximize your stylistic options with the minimum amount of expenditure necessary. Always go for ageless pieces ; for example a blazer suit or a classic pair of jeans. Take care of your shoes, both when selecting them and after wearing them. Accessorize if you're fond of it, but again don't overdo it. Dress-up whenever you feel like it. It does not have to be a special occasion, if it makes you feel good.

Remember that all items have a primary function, that they were designed for. Clothes need to protect and cover your body, and you should remember that when picking pieces. Leave the "extreme" either to the young, or the more experienced.

But let's go back to the serious stuff, that we mentioned earlier.

Don't delude yourself. It is your mind and abilities that matter ; and your personality. Regardless of the wrapping that you put on a box, the inside is what matters, and interests most in the end. Immediately reject the people that insist or remain on what wrapping looks or feels like. You do NOT want them with you on your journey through life. Never forget that bullshit is nice, but it only buys you time before it starts "smelling". Use that time to attain the essence. The latter is what matters in life ; essence is what makes life worth living.

Distance yourself from incessant bullshiters and their likes ; unless you want to pick up the smell yourself.

Educate yourself. Study, and then study again for the remainder of your life. It is probably the only thing that you will do by yourself, for yourself alone, and will be able to feel proud of accomplishing it, when lying on your deathbed. It is not futile ; it is fulfilling. If you cannot tell the difference, or have mixed those two up, regarding education (either taught or by instruction) as a waste of time and effort, then you are probably the one sorry, jealous little bastard, that never had the balls or the brains to try for himself.

Pick a subject, learn about it by study or practice, and when you feel you've covered it, then move on and pick another one. Subjects do not have to comprise a coherent series ; they can be self-taught or formally certified, as a student or an artisan's apprentice, as long as they fulfill you, and quench your thirst for knowledge. And believe me, you must possess a thirst for knowledge. Men are not supposed to be sterile machines. They have to constantly learn, and master new skills. It gives them flexibility, adaptiveness ; aids in creativity and boosts resourcefulness.

Treat yourself as a primitive caveman in that respect. Learn and create, in order to survive. You could also get more women in that way. If still you find learning as too much, then get a hobby ; in fact get a few of them. Whatever interests you, provides you with knowledge. Keep an open mind. Knowledge is THE way of expanding your intellect. The rest does follow.

Converse with others. That is the way for the expanding intellect (of the previous paragraph) to consolidate itself as your complete personality. Talk to others, and let others talk to you. Speak and listen. Hearing is what you do when others speak to you. Listening is when you comprehend their saying, process, digest and then respond back by speaking yourself. You need to listen, if you are to effectively talk to others.

Have a public life, ie. be an active citizen (or if you view it in a different sense, then be an active member of your society or group) and participate in the commons. Don't interpret public life as an exhibitionist would. Keep your "privates" for yourself. Be public, when the common good is concerned. Promote others that you find meaningful and good for your society.

That more or less concludes the argument for now. I reserve the right to come again :) - even stronger - if necessary. 

Peace.

Never drink to show-off.

Constantin Ninos, Esq.

thinker, tinker & writer

MN feature article | 18 Dec.2012